A
SOTU play by play.
8:05 p.m. CST--Watching the Cabinet file in. He shall be greeted like a king, as is appropriate these days. I think we should go back to the Jeffersonian SOTU--a simple letter. Oh well.
Listening to the prattle of the reporters as they kill time waiting on King George.
Oh there's nerdy new Justice Alito. How nice.
Congresspersons glad-handing each other and the Cabinet.
Sen. Tom Coburn is joshing with McCain.
Cindy Sheehan has been arrested. Nice.
8:11 King George appears! His royal dimwittedness strides into the room. Cut to a shot of Laura with the human props which will undoubtedly be referred to in his speech. (What, no
Chalabi this time?)
Dollar Bill Frist is behind King George...as is Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.
The King greets the Joint Chiefs, hands off his speech to the Veep and Speaker...who presents the President to a round of applause.
Yawn.
John Kerry is sitting next to Sen. Feinstein.
The King speaks...
...about the loss of Coretta Scott King. Um, now the news cameras focus on the few black members of Congress.
The King is humbled to be there. Truly, we are humble to have such a president. Yeah.
8:17 Lecturing about keeping a civil tone??? From the employer of
Karl Rove? Sigh. Downhill already, George.
8:18 First mention of Sept. 11. Wow, that was fast. Going to his ace in the hole already.Cut to shot of McCain, who looks constipated.
"More than half of the people of our world live in democratic nations," does this include the U.S.?
8:21 Tarists. They hate us because of our freedom, you know. (Alito looks uncomfortable and is not applauding much.)
8:22 "there is no honor in retreat" (unless you are hanging out in the Alabama National Guard.)
Rep. Rangel remains seated during obligatory standing ovation.
8:25 "we are winning".
Uh huh.8:26 "there is a difference between responsible criticism...and defeatism" You wish. And another "support the war or you do not support the troops" moment.
8:29 Speech prop #1: Trotting out the members of a fallen soldier. God bless him and them, but I wish presidents would not use this cheap method of propaganda in their speeches.
8:31 more boilerplate about freedom and liberty.
8:31 Gentle criticism of Egypt's political system.
8:32 Hamas.
8:32 Saudi Arabian reform? Hmm.
8:33 Now Iran...a nation held hostage by a radical elite... First mispronunciation of the word "nuclear."
and a direct word to the people of Iran...
8:34 fighting disease and spreading hope...
[at this point I start thinking of how great
Bill Clinton is at fighting AIDS in Africa.]
8:36 He asks to reauthorize the PATRIOT Act. It appears that redneck
Ben Nelson of Nebraska is the only Demo standing to applaud that...
8:37
Ballsy. He is admitting he broke the law to spy on Americans. Is he under oath? The Repubs stand and cheer, the Demos respectfully sit on their hands.
8:39 He trots out shopworn phrase "freedom is on the march." So is my dinner.
8:40 Claims our economy is good. 4.6 million new jobs? Yeah, at McDonalds.
Did you know our economy is the envy of the world? Yeah...the third world.
8:41 Pro immigrant. Hell, even I agree with him on that. Cripes, that feels weird.
8:42 Thirty seconds later... he lost me...he wants more tax relief for the rich. "Make the tax cuts permanent." Oh please. Doing that and nickel and diming social programs is immoral.
8:44 Now he is saying he wants to cut programs. America, are you listening?
Earmark reform and passage of the old "Line Item Veto"! I am getting nostalgic.
8:45 Nice Clinton joke. But we are not messing with Social Security. Big laughs from the Demos and boos from the Repugs. Nice smackdown, Demos!
(When the camera shows Congress, I look for
Joe Lieberman and
Dan Boren and a few others...oh wait, they are sitting with the Democrats. Must be the only time they do.)
8:49 Healthcare for all...I have an idea...single payer universal healthcare, ya dumbass! Here he goes again with the risky schemes...health savings accounts. Oh please.
8:50 Addicted to oil? You oughta know. Advanced Energy Initiative...hmmm...coal plants, solar and wind and NUKULAR energy. Hybrid cars...hydrogen, ethanol from wood chips...oh that will please the corn industry no end.
Replace 75% of Middle East oil imports by 2025. I'll believe that when I see it.
8:55 No Child Left Behind...train more teachers. Great idea but I suspect it is an
unfunded mandate just as NCLB is.8:58 Hey pessimists! He will prove you wrong, again!
8:59 Introduction of Justice Roberts and Sammy Boy. Better not legislate from the bench, guys. You have been warned by King George.
9:00
No cloning. No science. 9:01 Public trust is important. So How about releasing the photos of you with Jack Abramoff and firing Karl Rove?
9:02 Laura is introduced after he talks about compassion and love and other Brokeback stuff.
9:03 Touting love to New Orleans. Tell it to the folks in the storm ravaged areas who are still waiting for Brownie.
9:04 Faith based AIDS prevention.
9:05 Lincoln, King, FDR...he subtly puts himself in their company. It does not stick.
9:06 May God Bless America.
It is over. He smirks, drinks his water, shakes hands, signs autographs, and makes his way out of the chamber.
62 paragraphs.
Interrupted 58 times for applause or demonstrations.
Platitudes and attitudes. The usual. To quote another Bush: we are still "in deep doo doo."
And now, the uninspired choice for the Democratic response...
